It can be easy to forget that much of our early education is still extremely valuable to this day, and the benefits of mastering them go way beyond playground fun and games. These lessons are not only at the root of who you are but are also a crucial indicator of what's important to you as individuals.
The ABC’s were absolutely essential building blocks to learn how to read. Your Marriage ABC’s are essential to building your extraordinary relationship.
Alternate Taking Turns
Remember having to take turns on the playground to swing on the swings or to play handball in the court? When you know how to take turns, and understand the value of giving others a chance, you quickly realize many things.
You may recognize that you're good at cleaning the bathroom, but your spouse is not. You may realize that you both really enjoy planning date night so maybe you need to switch off each month. Taking turns is not only a portion of learning to share; it's also a massive lesson in embracing that it's not always all about you.
So find ways to take turns in your marriage, to both strengthen your knowledge of each other as well as to make everyone feel included. Think of taking turns with the chores, taking turns with the kids or even taking turns initiating in the bedroom.
Bring a Pillow for Nap Time
The power of a good nap is fantastic for your body, mind, and soul. Snuggle on the sofa and take a nap together. Put on some fresh, clean sheets, jump into bed in the middle of the day and take an afternoon nap together.
You'll wake up feeling refreshed, maybe a little silly, but more ready to take on the world together. "Adulting" is hard work. So take a note from those Kindergarteners and make time to rest.
Color to Your Heart's Content
Remember a few years ago when coloring books for adults were all the rage? Grown adults were buying coloring books that cost upwards of $20 each and then spending time coloring in them.
Do you know why it became such a widespread hobby?
It's because coloring lets us do two key things, feel in control and relax. There can be a lot of factors pushing on you or your marriage, coloring gives you the opportunity to make choices and be in control of that environment.
Coloring also helps you relax and slow down. You can’t rush coloring. It takes time to choose your colors and complete your pages. If you choose pages with repeated images your brain can relax in the repetition.
Don’t Keep It All To Yourself
From a young age, we are taught to share. Childhood is filled with instances where adults tell you "share your toys" or "share with your friend." Then this funny thing happens... You grow up and work hard for the money you use to buy things, and you start to feel less open to sharing that for which you worked so hard. This can also happen with our feelings as we get older because we're protecting who we are and what's important to us.
In marriage, it's important to remember the reason why you are taught to share from a young age-life is a team effort. So make sure that you remember to share.
Share your things, share responsibility, share ideas, and share what makes you happy (or doesn't). Sharing is a core communication and relationship skill that can serve us in so many ways.
Ears-Use Them
Many say listening is a learned skill, and it's true. The good thing is that you can learn to be a good listener at any time in your life. Having the insight to know when to listen, when to act, and when to respond is a must in a marriage (and in life). It's so common for people to feel "unheard," and when they do, they most often quickly detach, become confused, or even get angry.
In a marriage, you must take time to listen to your spouse beyond the typical "how was your day." You need to listen to know how they are feeling, what's causing them stress, and even what's frustrating them.
When you stop to listen to people, you gain specific insight into what's driving them or holding them back. When you listen to your spouse, you know how to better support them, challenge them, and even nurture them.
Find Fun Things to Do
In love and life, you need to have fun! We all need to laugh more, and we all need to do things that bring us joy. If you're not having fun, then it's time to step back, regroup, and find what's making you enjoy life less than you should be.
Think about your fondest childhood memories, then stop and allow yourself to find ways in your marriage to make that level of fun happen, adult style. Go for a skinny dip, watch cartoons, drink coffee together, and play hide and seek with the kids.
Get Along with Others
Making friends is so important. Human beings need interaction. It's just the way we are built. When you get married, you need to not only have your own friends but couple friends, mom friends, dad friends, friends that share your interests, and even work friends.
All these different kinds of friends support and nurture all those different things about you that make you, you. For those that are married, it's great to have a variety of friends so you always know you have a support system.
Think about it this way. When you were on the playground as a little kid, you sought people to play with at recess. You found people to sit next to during circle time. This is because we all know from birth that there is value in having people you can learn from, depend on, and feel various levels of love from.
Of course, as we grow up, those friendships change just like our needs do. Don't be afraid to build relationships that support the life you are in now.
So the next time you're feeling a bit lost, take a minute and remember those ABC’s. The building blocks never go out of style.
